Aesthetic
by Fibre Optic
Summary: In which the other dwarves notice Kili is quite attractive, and Kili worries that his appearance may define him.


_Kili was hot, guys. _

_I'm not going to beat around the bush. He was hot, and I perked up when I noticed that. Here is a fanfiction for you, my contribution to the fandom that I've been lurking in for the last few weeks. This is what happens when an occasion calls for the rest of the dwarves to acknowledge that one of their company is a Grade A hottie. _

_I'm going to escort myself to the corner of shame and shallowness now. _

* * *

The first they knew of it was in the camp one evening, the name let slip during chatter around the fire.

"-and he told her that if she was to relinquish the pony to him, he would offer her treasures beyond even her most precious Goblin stone. Need not say, the pony fell to no ill-fate, for the very mention of selling it had set her upon him like a dog on a rabbit!"

The dwarves surrounding Gandalf chuckled as he finished his tale, some shaking their heads while others fell into conversation amongst themselves. It wasn't until Thorin spoke that silence fell.

"What is this Goblin stone you spoke of?" he said.

Gandalf looked over, surprised. "Just an old tale, Master Thorin. No more."

"I have not heard it." Thorin got to his feet, brushing grit from his legs as he stepped over the small rocks and took a seat nearer the wizard. "I'd like to know more."

"There is no more to tell, I'm afraid. A Goblin Stone is an imaginary object in the possession of a solitary woman who would not part with it even if you had something worth bartering."

At this, Thorin tilted his head. "What is this imaginary object's purpose?"

"Nothing of any importance to your current quest, I assure you," Gandalf replied, looking away almost uneasily. Thorin noticed, and narrowed his eyes.

"All the same," the dwarf king said, "I should like to hear it."

By now, the entire camp had fallen quiet, a dozen pairs of eyes watching curiously in hope of another story. Bilbo, who sat behind the dwarves Kili and Fili on a separate boulder to the rest, had watched with suspicion Gandalf's attempts at evading an explanation.

After a long moment of silence, Gandalf finally sighed. "The Goblin stone is believed by many to be a magical object of which goblins cannot come near. Whether or not by intention of its creator is unknown, but it repels the creatures with great force."

"That could be useful," Nori piped up.

"Yes, it would have been incredibly useful back in the goblin kingdom," Bifur said.

"Unfortunately it is not ours to use for whatever purpose," Gandalf said dismissively. "Therefore we shan't dwell upon it."

"Where does its owner live?" Bilbo asked.

"The lady Irisen is said to live over the Northen mountain. She lends out ponies to those who require them."

"That is on our way," Fili pointed out. "Why shouldn't we drop by and ask for a lend of the stone? It sounds like it would be useful."

"One less thing to worry about," Kili agreed.

"Because she would not hand it over, so we will talk of it no more," Gandalf said irritably. "Now go to sleep, all of you. It's late and we need move early in the morning."

The dwarves all exchanged looks, but none moved. They were watching Thorin, who was frowning at the wizard.

"So that's it?" the dwarf demanded. "The one thing that might spare us all an extra enemy on this journey, and you simply dismiss it out of hand?"

"I speak of experience, Thorin. She will not hand it over," Gandalf insisted. "Don't you think that if she would, I would have taken it for this journey?"

"Then we will take it from her," Thorin said. "Explain our circumstances, offer payment whence we return."

"She does not spend gold nor wear jewels," Gandalf muttered. "Her prices are different and strange to us, and we should have no part in dealing with her."

"What does she charge, then? We can afford it, if she will allow it be paid on our way back."

"The lady Irisen has a weakness for the aesthetically pleasing individual and little else," Gandalf relented. "Her prices are for nights spent with those she finds pleasing to look at."

For a moment there was silence, then Thorin said, "What do you mean by this?"

"He means she wants a piece of a good looking fella in return for the stone," Bofur said, sounding amused. "If only we had one of them."

As he'd said it, Bofur's head had slowly turned in the same direction that al the dwarves were now looking. Kili looked back at them all, clearly confused. "What?"

Immediately the dwarves burst into laughter, and even Gandalf cracked a smile. Bilbo hopped down from his seat and landed beside Kili, smiling kindly at the confused expression on the dwarf's face.

"You're our ticket to the Goblin stone, lad," Bofur said, sounding pleased with himself as he strode toward the boulder and crouched before Kili, Fili, and Bilbo. "Maybe need a little work, but you're practically ready made to order!"

Kili leaned away from Bofur, eyes wide as he finally understood what was going on. "What, no. No way, I'm not doing that – stop touching my face!" he slapped Bofur's hand away and hopped to his feet, edging away from Ori who had come to join Bofur in staring at him.

Bilbo, who had moved to the far side of the boulder, watched with no small amount of amusement as several more dwarves began to shuffle over to the edge of their boulder, surrounding Kili and staring up at him curiously. The young dwarf now clung to the edge of the wall behind the boulder he'd been sitting on and glared down at his friends.

"He is right," Dwalin piped up, tilting his head and squinting at Kili. "You're not a bad dwarf to look at, boy!"

"You're not giving Kili to a crazy old bat for a stone," Fili interrupted finally. "Tempting as it might be."

Kili kicked his brother in the back, earning himself a glare that he ignored. "As my brother said, I won't be sold or traded for a stone!"

"Do not be ridiculous, nephew," Thorin's voice came from somewhere behind the crowd huddled around Kili. "No one is selling or trading you. I would not have it."

"A nasty business altogether," Gandalf agreed. "We are passed the worse of the goblins in the mountain anyhow, and they won't bother us this far afield."

Muttering, the dwarves surrounding Kili slowly drew back, allowing him space to move warily forward and sit back down between Fili and Bilbo. He glowered at his fellows for a long while until the last of them had dispersed, but for the rest of the night he could feel at least one of them watching him differently.

It wasn't until late the next afternoon, when they had covered many miles on foot and were beginning a hefty trek up the slope of a mountainside, that a hesitant Ori approached him.

"Um, Kili?" he started, darting large eyes from the younger dwarf's face to his boots. "Balin said I weren't to bother you again, but I just wanted to ask you something."

The dwarves in general took the time to have greater patience with Ori than they did with anyone else in their company. Though he wasn't the youngest, the other dwarves maintained that he was slow in the head from one too many falls as a child. All the same, Thorin valued him as much as any other, and so the rest did likewise.

Kili was in no mood to be teased again for his appearance, but he made an effort to grin at Ori as he hitched his quiver and bow further up his shoulder. "Ask away, Sir."

"It's only just that my beard is not growing and my hair -"

"Your appearance is of no consequence, Ori," Kili interrupted. He could sense his brother's presence behind him, could recognise the stuffy inhale as an aborted laugh but did his best to ignore it as he continued, "You are as much a warrior as any one of us."

Ori peered up at him through fair eyelashes. "Do you really believe that?"

It gave Kili pause, though he tried not to show it, making a drama about stepping over a large scattering of icy rocks in the middle of the trail. He turned to help Fili across, intentionally not meeting his brother's eyes.

"I do," he said finally, glancing at Ori as they continued up the trail. "It is your actions, not your beard, that they will remember you for when all is said and done."

Ori looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled. "Quite right you are, Master Kili."

A shout came from further up the company, the familiar gruff voice of Nori. Ori glanced from Kili to the backs of the dwarves in front of them. He offered a final, simple smile before hurrying up to rejoin his relatives.

It was not long before Kili felt his brother rejoin his side.

"What a great show of kindness," Fili commented. "A very nice thing of you to do."

Kili shrugged a shoulder, adjusting his quiver again as he did. "I hope that is what you will remember be for, rather than my pretty face."

Fili returned his brother's playful grin, punching him lightly in the side. "There will be much to remember of you when you're gone, brother. I daresay your appearance will be the least of it."


End file.
